Independence. It’s what most of us dream of when we’re young, but when we hit adulthood, it becomes a bit more daunting. Independence isn’t just living on your own. Independence at its most basic level is being able to make decisions on your own. Personal independence is also about being the master of your own destiny, developing the strength to stand up for what you believe in, and having the capability to manage your own life effectively toward your goals. True independence involves a strong sense of self, self-confidence, and a belief in one’s own abilities.
Developing personal independence is crucial for several reasons, especially when you’re young. Independence helps you:
Remember that learning to be independent is a process, and it will come a little bit at a time. If you’re looking to learn how to become independent, we’re going to look at some great ways for you to work on developing your independence to help you get started.
Becoming independent often starts with identifying your personal goals and skills. This is a process of self-discovery where you take the time to really delve into what you want to achieve in life. While a general sense for what you want is helpful, it’s also powerful to set specific and measurable goals. You may consider SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) goals. For example, instead of saying “I want to be independent with food,” your goal could be “I want to cook one new meal each week.”
Once you have goals, it’s important to prioritize them. Not all goals hold the same weight, and it’s important to know what takes precedence at different stages of your life. If you’re a student, you might prioritize your academic and professional goals and save your other goals for the summer. Prioritizing helps you focus on what matters most, so you’re accomplishing the big pieces first, before the details.
Developing self-reliance and confidence is another crucial aspect of personal independence. It can be tough, at first, to trust your own abilities and decision-making capabilities. But true independence involves believing in your capability to handle tasks, solve problems, and make valuable contributions. This goes hand-in-hand with taking responsibility for your decisions. Making decisions makes you responsible for the outcome—both the successes and failures. This ownership develops a sense of accountability and helps you move toward becoming independent
Much of your growth and self-reliance will stem from challenges life throws at you. When you fail, take the opportunity to view these moments as learning opportunities. When you do that, you can turn every setback into a chance to learn about yourself, acquire new skills, or refine your approach to life.
As backward as it sounds, you don’t become independent on your own. While independence involves relying on oneself, it doesn’t mean isolating oneself. In fact, the people around us can help us become more independent. Here are three ways to build a support system that can empower you to become more independent:
Communication is key in all relationships, including with yourself. Being truly independent means you will need to know how to effectively communicate to move your life forward. These skills are not just about expressing yourself clearly but also about active listening and understanding others’ perspectives.
Active listening helps you to absorb, understand, and respond to the information and can help you learn to have deeper conversations and more meaningful relationships. Being an effective speaker means you can articulate your thoughts while negotiating skills help you adapt to conflict and resolve problems.
As you become a more proficient communicator, you’ll find that you’re prepared to handle so many different situations that come your way: negotiating a better grade with a professor, resolving a misunderstanding with a roommate, or expressing your ideas in a group project. Working toward developing your skills can come through school, formal training, or something unique like a gap semester with Take Action Lab.
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